INSERT INTO sites(host) VALUES('') 2002: Can't connect to local MySQL server through socket '/var/run/mysqld/mysqld.sock' (111) Estimated Worth $391,706 - MYIP.NET Website Information
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Title:Duckshit - Funny jokes and funny pictures
Description:Funny jokes, funny pictures and having a great time is what we are all about
Keywords:funny jokes, funny pictures, chuck norris jokes, yo mama jokes
Duckshit - Funny jokes and funny pictures
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Monday Mornings here at Duckshit.comAugust 20, 2012
Posted in videos
Leave a comment
Offer too good to refuse
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every now and then, a $50 bill fell out onto the footpath.
Noticing this, a cop stopped her, and said, 鈥淢a鈥檃m, there are $50 bills falling Out of that bag.鈥
鈥淥h, rats! Darn it!鈥 said the little old lady. 鈥淚鈥檇 better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer..鈥
鈥淲ell, now, not so fast,鈥 said the cop. 鈥淲here did you get all that money? You didn鈥檛 steal it, did you?鈥
鈥淥h, no, no鈥, said the old lady. 鈥淵ou see, my yard is right next to the baseball stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a hole in the fence, right into my garden. It used to really annoy me and kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 鈥榳hy not make the most of it?鈥 So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my shears. Every time some guy sticks his dingus through my fence, I surprise him, Grab hold of it and say, 鈥極.K., buddy! Give me $50, or I cut off your johnson! #8221;
鈥淲ell, that seems only fair,鈥 said the cop, laughing. 鈥淥K. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what鈥檚 in the other bag?鈥
鈥淲ell, you know鈥, said the little old lady, 鈥渘ot everybody pays鈥
Posted in jokes, Sex Jokes
Tagged fence joke, hole in the fence joke
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New iPhone 5 ReleasedOctober 4, 2011
With the half-announcement today of the new iPhone 4s, the world is left to wonder what might have been. Now, we have an exclusive look at the radical new redesign of the iPhone 5!
All trademarks are copyright of their respective owners. This page is parody. We love Apple and have given them thousands of our dollars over the years
Posted in pictures
Tagged iphone 5, iphone 5 orange, iphone 5 satire
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On The Road AgainOctober 1, 2011
This guy wants to be a proctologist, and he wants to be a really good proctologist, so he decides to go down to the morgue after class and practice a little. Well, he uncovers the first guy and there is a cork in his butt! He thinks it #8217;s a little strange, so he pulls it and music starts playing #8220; #8230;On the road again, just can #8217;t wait to get on the road again #8230; #8221; The guy really freaks out! He runs and gets the M.A. and drags the poor guy back to the table. #8220;Look! #8221; he says, and pulls the cork out again, #8220; #8230;On the road again #8230; #8221; The M.A. is totally unimpressed #8230; #8221;So what? #8221; he says. #8220;Isn #8217;t that the most amazing thing you #8217;ve ever seen? #8221;, the guy asked. #8220;Are you kidding? #8221; says the M.A.. #8220;Any asshole can sing country music! #8221;
Posted in Sick Jokes
Tagged cork asshole joke, on the road again joke
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Dr. Seuss rejected book ideasSeptember 26, 2011
How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
Oh, the Places You #8217;ll Scratch and Sniff!
Horton Fakes an Orgasm
The Grinch #8217;s Ten Inches
Yentl the Lentil
My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket
The Cat in the Blender
Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
Fox in Detox
Your Colon Can Moo #8212;Can You?
Who Shat in the Hat?
Horton Hires a Ho
The Flesh-Eating Lorax
Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch
Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out!
Are You My Proctologist?
Aunts in My Pants
Posted in jokes
Tagged rejected dr suess books
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Silicone beats GoldSeptember 23, 2011
The science teacher stood in the front of the class and said, #8220;Kids, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be? #8221;
Little Stevie raised his hand and said #8220;I would want silver, because silver is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Ferarri. #8221; The teacher nodded, and then she called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, #8220;I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche. #8221; The teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny.
Little Johnny stood up and said, #8220;I would want silicone. #8221; The teacher said, #8220;Silicone? Why silicone, Little Johnny? #8221; #8220;Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should
see all the sports cars outside our house! #8221;
Posted in jokes
Tagged silicone, silicone joke, two bags of silicone
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